I'm Not a Doctor, But...

1:56 AM

You know something that’s terrifying? Self-diagnosing yourself with an illness and building up the suspense of it so much that you think if you even thinking about risking falling asleep you’re never going to wake up and then at least your roommate will get free tuition and that’s nice for them I guess but you’re still too scared to go to sleep because of potential death.

Psh…thank goodness that that’s a horribly irrational fear. Good thing no one thinks that way especially at this exact moment in time. That would be dumb.

It’s really one of the craziest things to try to explain to another person because, in your mind, the vague list of symptoms that you are aggressively monitoring leads to the worst disease anyone has ever known, but somehow it doesn't read to them:

“I’m really nervous. My throat feels really cold and my mouth is really dry—“

“Ma’am…that’s called breathing.”

“No I don’t think— wait…you’re right. Phew. Crisis averted. I’m gonna stay up all night just in case though.”

I feel like people tend to let tiny things weasel their way into their brain until they have all of the symptoms and are on the brink of death, but then they’ll have their epidermis stolen by an over zealous street performer and they’ll be like “eh…whatever.”

Why is that! It’s probably all psychosomatic stuff…the small things are scary the way Night Ninjas are scary.

QUICK EDUCATIONAL BREAK: WHAT ARE NIGHT NINJAS

You know when you are in bed in the dead of night (or the early hours of the morning) and you feel like you are completely alone and everyone in the world is (or should be asleep), but you have to get up to do something but for some reason you are scared that if you get up that someone is going to attack you? The thing that will attack you are Night Ninjas.

ANYWAY

Night Ninjas aren’t actually there but you work yourself up to a point where you think that they are literally waiting right outside (okay, I need to stop typing about them because it’s worrying me and I really want to go lock my door now…), but with big injuries or diseases it’s probably just like “eh…couldn’t get any worse than this”. There’s no suspense in it. That’s probably what’s scariest. At least it is to me. The fear of not knowing.

I’m not high I swear. I’m just Carly. Some of these sound very much like high thoughts.

But yeah…I should probably choose to face either the Night Ninjas or falling of sleep with the fear of death….and Night Ninjas are scary as hell so….Sleep!

Good Night and Good Morning

Carly