*Insert Interesting Title*
4:14 AM
You know what really does not work? Trying to make yourself go to sleep when your brain is just like HAHAHHA! NO!
It’s like, at this time of night, your brain becomes three people: it’s a three year old, jumping all about trying to wake you up, a military sergeant yelling at you to go to sleep (which, as you can imagine is incredibly helpful), and you, just silently begging them to shut up so you might actually get some sleep.
There was also the part of my brain that kept telling me to wake up and write for this. So, here we find ourselves.
This is totally karma, though, for trying to be over ambitious and go to sleep on the early side. It really wasn’t even that early, but it was early enough for my brain to be like “stop this, what are you doing, I legit have not spoken to you in so long let’s do it AT FOUR AM!”
It’s fine. We’re fine.
At this time of morning (night), nothing is really…peaceful making it 10 times harder to go to sleep. Allow me to explain what I mean. It hits this point where it’s so close to morning, but it isn’t yet. It’s the flat part before the giant drop in the roller coaster. All it is is anticipation. That’s not to say that mornings are bad! The anticipation can just get a bit out of hand! Like, I think this time of night/morn is when consciences deal with all of their shit because right now I’m pretty convinced that I’ve deeply wronged everyone I know and I can’t sleep until I figure out how to make amends before they challenge me to a duel or send me to jail for a million years because I lied to them when they said something and then I said “what” and then they said it again and I said “what” and they said it again, but you don’t want to be THAT GUY who says “what” three times I mean it’s just, like, you can’t do that, so you laugh a little and say “yeah” and pray that they didn’t just tell you that their grandma died and you hope that it fits and they don’t realize your lie, lose their trust in you, and start hating you forever.
Also, Night Ninjas are running amuck right now. That is also happening.
I understand that a lot of these didn’t come from the most rational bushel of thoughts in the world, but some of these irrational musings are definitely not my fault.
Like, OK SO, apparently (a recent discovery in my life) I cannot emotionally deal with contact lenses. That sounds bizarre, but it’s really not. I blame the world and basic instincts for this one.
Yeah! I’m pointing fingers and naming names!
But, like, one of the first rules you learn about being a person is “Hey…don’t poke yourself in the eye.” That seems like an okay rule. You don’t question it. You base your entire reality off of it. You let it ground itself in the center of who you are.
THEN TWENTY YEARS DOWN THE ROAD THEY’RE LIKE JK!
W H A T D O I B E L I E V E E E E E E E E E E E
This may seem like a severe over reaction…
…
…and I mean it definitely is.
There’s nothing more I can really think to overreact about at this juncture in my career which probably means I should try to get to sleep and continue contemplating life on my own!
Good Night and Good Morning
Carly