But...Why Sheep?

1:53 AM

I think I’m done sleeping. Like forever. I just don’t think it’s going to happen for me anymore. I caught some quality z’s in my twenty years of existence. I guess I’m okay being awake for the rest.

It’s not that I’m not tired. I’m crazy tired. Deliriously tired. Apologizing to furniture kinds of tired. I just can’t get to sleep.

Woe alas. But here we find ourselves!

I really like having a lofted bed because it means I can put my feet on the ceceling and pretend I can walk upside down.

Why do people count sheep when they try to go to sleep? Are sheep stereotypically a particularly dull animal? Are they supposed to bore you to sleep? I mean you wouldn’t count mountain lions. Maybe, though, that’s just because mountain lions aren’t as universally known as sheep. Or, maybe we count sheep because sheep (well, cartoon sheep) look like clouds and for some reason we associate sleep with clouds…as I continue this thought I realize that it makes no sense. Why would we associate sleep with clouds? I feel like more clouds are seen in the day time than at night unless it’s one of those movies where the clouds part at night and it’s like “woah…full moon” and then something happens. Yeah, but I guess at the root of it all, we shouldn’t really be correlating clouds or sheep with the night. Sheep aren’t even nocturnal! They would technically not be awake while you counted them! In that case, why don’t we count owls or something. I feel like birds would be difficult to count because they’d be flying all over the place.

Moral of the story: stop counting sheep. They are more than a number.

I remember when I was younger one of my big strategies for trying to go to sleep was just to stare at the wall for as long as I could without blinking so my eyes would get tired. When I couldn’t stare anymore I’d basically be asleep.

I want letters to be a thing again. As in the alphabet. HAHHA kidding. I find me funny. I mean like written letters. I don’t want them back for the reason like “so much more personal and moving and blah blah blah” I want them back because I think it would be hilarious to see people try to take text talk and put it back into letters. Like, how inconvenient would that be. Imagine mailing a letter to someone that said like

“What’s up?”

Like, with today’s current texting culture (oh my gosh I sound like I’m 80 it’s fine we’re fine…) that would be the whole thing because where would you go from there? You’re next phrasing is entirely contingent on the way that they respond to that. SO THEN, because it’s a letter, you’d have to wait like three days to see if the response is like

“Nm U?” or “A LOT”

And then by the time you’d get the letter back it’d be too late.

OR WE SHOULD USE PIDGEON MAIL AGAIN.

That would be so fun! Pigeons kind of freak me out. I’m realizing I’m not great with birds. I didn’t always know that, but they make me feel unsettled. But pigeons always, like, sit together, and wander about…I realize I just described pigeons in a way you could describe humans eating lunch but it’s fine. I think we would all be better as a society if we got them involved in our national postal service.

I have two final exams tomorrow. What an adventure! One of my biggest fears is sleeping through an alarm for a final. That and not achieving my greatest purpose in life and disappointing those around me. I think those three fears are on about the same level.

(*laughs*)

I have a question about one of my finals, but if I email my professor now they will think I’m insane…but I don’t think that’s a difference…

I will soul search and figure out what to do.

I really don’t want to go back to trying to sleep because I feel like it won’t work out, but I should probably try. Right? (I mean…no one will read this until after I’ve made a decision so I’m virtually talking to myself)

That is the really weird thing about writing. I really feel like I’m talking to myself here. That’s all this is. I know I end up putting it online and a few people read it, but I don’t really process that that happens. Does that make any sense? Like, unless people tell me they saw it I kind of forget that other people can see it. And, if you are reading this now, that means you are reading a part about how I don’t believe you’re reading it and that being said I don’t believe that you’re reading this part about how I don’t believe you’re reading this.

Oh what fun!

On that simple and cheery thought I shall leave you!

Good Night and Good Morning

Carly