Patriotic Flags and Poor Gages of Height

4:49 AM

I feel like it's been 4am for the last 20 years of my life, and that is in no way an exaggeration.

I'm so sorry. That was an exaggeration, and I feel like I shouldn't have opened with a lie. Lying is so uncool I’m so sorry. Let me start over.

I feel like this night has been a treadmill of time, and it has been four am for all of it! I've just been 12 cups of caffeine kinds of energized since I attempted going to sleep. The most effective way to describe how I feel at this exact moment is like one of those party favors that’s plastic with the two hands and if you move it around really quickly it claps.

Do you ever see a flag and just think to yourself: wow, that’s a really patriotic looking flag? Do you know what city is riddled with patriotic flags? Hartford.

"But Carly, aren’t all flags patriotic?”

“Jeffrey, so help me! Do not interrupt.”

Some flags just move in real-life slow-motion like a popular clique in any Disney Channel (un)original Movie (DISNEY BURN!).

(Sorry Disney).

I was at my sister’s graduation a few weeks ago, and…

“Wow...that was such a topic change”

“Jeffrey, I will put you on the next plane to Japan. Don't test me right now”

So sorry, so I was at the graduation and the salutatorian quoted T.S. Eliot: "If you aren’t in over your head, how do you know how tall you are?” It was the first time I heard the quote…

“Seriously? That’s like really famous."

“Go for a walk Jeffrey. I mean it. Go take a lap”

…it was the first time I heard the quote, and I really liked it a lot. I still do. It's the background on my computer which everyone knows is the most esteemed expression of 21st century praise. But I realized that…well…if you are in over your head…how do you wouldn't know how tall you are! You'd just be very confident that you’re not as tall as the water! You might not even know how deep the water is! So, you're just under the water and you know “I’m not this flippin' tall!”

Unless you brought a yard stick with you? Did you bring a yard stick?

Maybe “T.S. Eliot” is a typo. Maybe what it was supposed to be was “P.S. Eliot brought a yard stick”

Imagine if that was how you were actually measured for height: they just dunked you in a tank of water. Like, at an amusement park "You must be this tall to ride the ride” and everyone has to go underwater to check.

And with that thought I leave you to your day!

Good Night and Good Morning

Carly